Wade Bradford’s Blog

A student in my Moorpark class is an up-and-coming rap artist. So, since we have been discussing poetry, I encouraged him to rap for us — and I decided to write a rap of my own as well. We were both randomly given the same theme: Mousetrap. Here’s my rap…

Since the day I was born in this ratty old nest
I learned very quick that life is one big test
Crawlin’ through a maze a mouse can go crazy
I’d rather chill with the gerbils, get all fat and lazy.
Loungin’ in their cage, crusin in their hampster ball
Not me, I live behind that nasty brown wall.
Livin’ by myself, you know there woulda been others
But my mama was hungry and devoured my brothers.
Ain’t got no water bottle or any other perk
If I want some cheese than I gotta get to work.

So I wake up in the morning and I sniff into the air,
The only thing to smell is the crumbs beneath a chair.
Then I sense an intensely delicious scented breeze
There’s a fragrance in the air and it smells a lot like cheese.

Oh snap! It might be a trap –
But the pleasure of that treasure, well, it hits me like a slap.
Oh crap, it IS a mousetrap.
It’s right there placed with care at the bottom of the stairs.

I tell myself “NO”, I just gotta go,
But the cheese sees through me like a glass window.
It smells like cheddar, man, what could be better?
No, it smells like swiss – Kraft Macaroni and Bliss.
Oh man I gotta stop this.
It smells like Velveeta, I just gotta eatta!
It smells like provolone, now leave me alone.
That trap’s gotta clap that’ll snap ev’ry bone,
But I’m a gredy little, cheesy little Al Capone.

I bet if I’m slick, if I’ma double fast quick,
I could trigger the trap with a Mickey Mouse trick.
I’ma trigger the trap and grapple the cheese,
Then I’ll nibble away the day with ease.
I’m gonna do it on the count of three,
But first you better all clap along with me.

Oh snap, can you hear me rap?
Oh snap, we’ll I’m gonna trick the trap.
One – Two – Three
Ouch.
Epic fail. I Lost my tail.

Darn… I lost my third Oscar Pool in a row.

Two years ago, my wife won our Oscar pool. That wasn’t so bad because I gave her a few tips. But last year, I lost again — this time to a friend. And this year I lost yet again. I guess I’m losing my touch. I used to win the Oscar Pool at least once every two years.

Maybe I need to stop wasting time working and raising a family and more time watching countless movies. Oh, no wait. I’m actually making a good, responsible decision. Oh well, I guess I’ll stick to being a good Dad and Husband… even if it means I don’t win by gambling on the Academy Awards.

Yes, this week was very long. Why? Well, I’ve been teaching at Moorpark since January… but during the last couple weeks I’ve been at College of the Canyons as well. And this previous week, my semester at Pasadena City College began. Add on top of that a class which I’m subbing. I’ve been teaching four mornings/nights a week — and the days are packed. And my brain is kind of cheesecake. (See? I probably should have said swiss cheese. But I said cheese cake, that’s how loopy I am.)

But it’s been a wonderful week because some of my hard work and patience has started to pay off. I got a glimpse of a sketch dummy of my upcoming picture, “Why Do I Have To Make My Bed?” (A sketch dummy is like an illustrator’s rough draft. Johanna’s artwork looks really cool. Can’t wait to see it in full color! It’s going to be a fun book.

I also sold another play, a one-act comedy to Heuer Plays. (I’ll give you more details on that later — I might decide to change the title.)

And I’ve got another picture book that is showing promise. My editor liked the first draft, but now I’m going to alter the setting and enhance the character development.

Most weeks, I work and write and wait for something to happen. It’s always wonderful when results finally emerge.